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By Ngina Otiende 16 Comments My dad passed away suddenly a few months before my husband and I started courting. Twelve months later, I walked down the aisle and became Mrs Otiende. I was well prepared for marriage by my mentors, as well as any single girl can be ready anyway.

But I did know how much my life before marriage, specifically my upbringing, would affect my life after marriage. I grew up in the country; nine kids and two wonderful parents. But as the last born child, my dad and I spoke two completely different love languages.

He was a traditional African dad — tough, disciplined and aloof.

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I was needy, always seeking his attention and favor, working tirelessly to earn his approval and acceptance.

As an adult looking back, I do realize I was accepted and loved back then. But as a little girl, all I felt was the tough discipline and the distance. I carried the wound of rejection and feeling like I was never enough through my teens and early adulthood.

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When we go through rejection and hardships, we become experts at protecting our hearts. God has a way of bringing relationships and situations that push back at our polished facades and masks. My one-flesh journey began to pick at my scabs, the ones I thought were long healed.

And God showed these 4 things 1. You have to allow God to pick you up and bind up your wounds. But at some point, our desire to be free from the past has to supersede our desire for the prison of the past. We have to intentionally retrain our hearts to start responding differently when the old pressure buttons are pushed.

What did I do?! He is a guy yes, but a different guy. The problem was that I was holding a hammer still-healing wounds and every argument and conflict looked like a nail.

And I hit it hard. Your husband and mine will not understand everything there is to understand about our upbringing and wounds. We have to stop with that expectation.

And remember they were not there. But just because you remember does not mean you are not healed. I had to learn how to stop allowing the accusations of the enemy to shout louder than the Word of God and see the scabs for what they truly were; marks of grace and victory. Praying for your victory as you stand on His promise.Site Feedback Discussion about this site, its organization, how it works, and how we can improve it.

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